longleggedgit | medication

So I just came from the doctor and I've been prescribed Trazodone, which is an antidepressant?? The thing is, I didn't go in for depression; I went in for a combination of my continued chronic back pain (it's been half a year now and physical therapy helps a lot, but I still have pretty bad days and just can't seem to get over it entirely) and insomnia. The insomnia has been a super on-again off-again issue for me. You may remember me whining about it when I got back from Japan, and it did improve a lot since then--I went from almost never being able to naturally sleep to being able to naturally sleep almost every night, for a while, but lately it's super inconsistent. I noticed when I was home over break that some nights I would feel extremely anxiety-ridden and be unable to fall asleep, and I think part of that was switching up my environment and sleeping in so many different places all the time. Generally when I've been in Ames my schedule and being in my own apartment has helped me fall asleep, but suddenly lately I'm having anxiety and feeling really panicky when I try to sleep again. The only thing that can help me then is meds, or else I just don't go to sleep period.

The doctor told me Trazodone is frequently prescribed as a sleeping aid and can also help with chronic pain, but I'm just . . . so . . . skeptical of drugs that affect your brain? Ughhh okay I guess it's hypocritical of me to say that because I definitely have been accepting Xanax pills from my father (lol) for when I can't sleep (they are by far the best thing I've ever used for sleeping, in particular bc I can take them in the middle of the night if I need to and they don't leave me drowsy the next day). HOWEVER, the thing about the Xanax is, I only take half a pill very very occasionally when I feel EXTREMELY panicky and KNOW I won't be able to sleep. But the doctor wants me to take a Trazodone no matter what every night! And I mean, after a month I will check in with him about how it's going but idk idk D: It scares me to think about this becoming a long-term dependency instead of an as-needed solution. :( It also doesn't help that I don't really like this doctor . . . I feel strangely suspicious that he was just like "Look at this girl and her wild hair. I bet she's depressed I'm going to give her depression medication." Which is probably ridiculous of me ;alfjke I just wish I had a doctor here who I felt more comfortable with.

Oh and FTR I have done all the natural sleeping aid stuff, like Melatonin and Valerian and meditation, etc. etc. so I have explored other options. Going to the doctor was a pretty last-ditch resort.

I guess I plan to give it a trial run--and internet research leads me to believe that, as far as antidepressants go, this is one of the most innocuous at least?--but I can't help but be freaked out about it. :( Has anyone ever taken this particular drug by any chance? Maybe for sleep/pain rather than depression? WHAT IF IT IMPACTS MY MOOD ugh ugh ugh.